Creating Beauty

As a child, I was frightened by a humongous Kissy doll. At 3, it was as big as I was and when you pulled it's hands together it made a smacking or a supposed kissing sound. I was sure it would get up and get me......making smacking sounds as it neared my bed.

Now I make dolls.....some are supposed to be scary, but most just reflect how I look at beauty. To me we have a very narrow view of what beauty is and is not. I have cerebral palsy and don't think I'm whining about it I'm not. I'm lucky my case is very mild compared to some people's. But you can pick me out as different, I walk awkwardly, but my arm and leg work correctly.....for someone with a partially paralyzed arm and leg.

I look like someone with CP is supposed to and in my way I'm attractive. I try to reflect alternative beauty in the dolls I create and so in some ways I'm still dealing with fear, but now it's not my own.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Old Horror Movies-Brides of Dracula

I know it's an English film, but this poster is more dramatic.  Photography is an art form, but
I just prefer painted posters.
A young teacher on her way to a position in Transylvania helps a young man escape the shackles his mother has put on him. In so doing she innocently unleashes the horrors of the undead once again on the populace, including those at her school for ladies. Luckily for some, Dr Van Helsing is already on his way.
Mlle. Danielle(on right) another teacher and the headmistress... or innocent bystander, love interest and lunch
(IMDB plot synopsis)


One of my all time favorite vampire movies. I love Peter Cushing's Van Helsing. When I first saw it, the idea of a blonde vampire was unusual, so I liked that aspect of the casting. 
My favorite Van Helsing. 
The vampire as an elite spoiled brat amuses me too.  I like the Baroness even though she raised a brat. Probably because she eventually admits it and lives to honestly regret it.

What a miserable son...turning Mom into a vampire
The maid, Greta, I like because she calls the Baroness on indirectly turning her son into a monster. When she goes mad and starts helping Baron Meinster and his brides, the actress really chews the scenery. I especially like the scene where she's laying on the ground by a grave encouraging a new bride to dig her way out.... Shudder.
Greta encouraging a new bride to dig her way out.
The script writers played with vampire rules in interesting ways in this film. Van Helsing burns a bite with a branding iron and douses it with holy water to save himself. Oh and he does kill Meinster with a cross.....in a way.

Baron Meinster...after lunch
If you like old school vampire movies, the Hammer horror films are some of the best. Curl up with some popcorn and catch a great vampire romp.





Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Season of the Ghost- Dead Babies in a Burning Car

Yeah, I know weird, nasty title. The phrase is one I learned from an old boyfriend who was a photojournalist. He had a professor who felt this was one of the ultimate photo ops for a photojournalist. I use the phrase when I see something really horrific happen. And sometimes I can just be a w/bitch.

Well, today I have a sad little story. And yes, this one deals with another Ouija board. MJ and I were at a friend's house for pizza and a video. Maggie, Bob and their roommate, Alex were all telling gruesome stories. Bob always seemed to like to try to upset me or gross me out the point of nausea. Maggie seemed to like to pick at me and make feel less than human. But I put up with the crap cause MJ was friends with Alex and Bob. The negativity of the house's energy didn't help either. Negative people seem to collect negative spirits.

We got talking about ghosts, psychics etc and I related the Flaming Gary story. Maggie insisted on us trying out her Ouija board. I was in no mood, but I was annoyed enough with the whole miserable evening to agree....the environment had some bad vibes and the idea of scaring Bob and Maggie was appealing. .....Hey, I'm human, okay?

So the board came out and we started off. It wouldn't work unless I had a fingertip on the planchette. We had a few spirits that answered a few yes or no questions, but one kept showing up and it had a message for Shelly.

Maggie wanted to stop then, but the ghost or whatever was determined. It wanted to talk to Bob...well Bob was not happy and Maggie was pissed. Apparently Bob had had a relationship with this chick, Shelly, before he met Maggie and fathered a kid. Supposedly this ghost was the baby. Bob and Maggie were the only 2 people present who knew bout the abortion. Needless to say I got what I wanted.... Neither of them picked at me for quite sometime.

As to the entity being an aborted baby, I don't believe it, but entities/energies already in the house playing with 2 nasty people....yes. I think one of them took pity on me or I just finally used my own psychic abilities to protect myself.

Yep, this is another of MJ's illustrations. After this incident, Witchy Woman was my nickname. :)


Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Old Horror Movies-The Black Cat

I love painted movie posters. The colors in this one are wonderful.


Dr.Verdegast


Poelzig leading the black mass
This has always been one of my favorite horror films.                                                                                          The basic plot is straight forward..."Honeymooning in Hungary, Joan and Peter Allison share their train compartment with Dr. Vitus Verdegast, a courtly but tragic man who is returning to the remains of the town he defended before becoming a prisoner of war for fifteen years. When their hotel-bound bus crashes in a mountain storm and Joan is injured, the travelers seek refuge in the home, built fortress-like upon the site of a bloody battlefield, of famed architect Hjalmar Poelzig. There, cat-phobic Verdegast learns his wife's fate, grieves for his lost daughter, and must play a game of chess for Allison's life. " (IMDB synopsis)

Little did Joan and Peter know their European honeymoon would be so scary.
Poelzig and Vertegast's daughter
But the underlying creepiness of all the relationships is what intrigues me... Poelzig is married to Vertegast's daughter... the lovely lady floating in the box.....Vertegast's dead wife.

Vertegast's wife
Considering the time period, the marriage of Poelzig to Vertegast's daughter almost seems to be incest.

The verbal battling between Poelzig and Vertegast is intense and Vertegast's descent into despair is frightening.

I think I love black and white movies so much because the lighting is usually so beautiful. The mood is always sinister and much of the horror is left up to the imagination...fortunately.  I don' t think I'd want to see Vertegast's revenge in any great detail.

No, not much gore or any sudden shocks, but I prefer interesting characters and a plot.

If you want to be creeped out emotionally....you might want to check out The Black Cat..... starring Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi(1934)

Monday, October 7, 2013

Season of the Ghost - The Ouija Board and Flaming Gary

When I was around 11, one of the neighbor kids, Susan, showed up with a Ouija board instead of the Monopoly game she said she was getting. She explained how we all needed to put a finger on the planchette and ask questions.

Well, you could tell Sue was moving the planchette. So we weren't impressed. Everybody took a turn and the planchette never moved a millimeter.

Now, I had been seeing ghosts since my Grandma Bartlett died when I was 7, so this doodad board wasn't impressing me too much. It couldn't compare with getting a last hug from Grandma or the little white floating spirits I saw in the woods behind our house.

I took my turn and wouldn't you know that planchette zipped around like it was electrified. The man who wanted to talk to me was named Gary and he was really excited to talk to me and wanted me to do him a favor. I was supposed to go get some matches and bring them out to the yard where we were all sitting.

He explained that he and his brother were killed in a house fire in a house that once stood near we were playing .....

Suddenly the planchette jumped and slid violently off the board. We all freaked and got up off the blanket we'd been sitting on. Everybody dared me to try the board again. I figured a ghost couldn't really hurt me and I did get dared.... so I plopped back down.

The planchette started moving again and this time I was talking to Ian. According to him, Gary started the fire that killed just him. I got this uneasy feeling that someone was behind me and jumped up. After that I lost interest in the ouija board, but Gary still seemed to be following me around. I thought I saw him a few times in the woods behind our house. I had a couple of dreams where I saw a man running from a burning house and through the windows.....saw a man fall into the fire.

From that experience, I learned not all spirits were good and that needed to not listen to the bad ones. Also, being dead doesn't always give the ghost any more knowledge than when he or she was alive.

As an adult I've thought about when this fire could have taken place, what were Gary's motives in wanting me to get matches and if he affected any other kids? I probably still wonder about this ghost because during that year a couple of kids I knew died in house fires.

The house had tiny little paned windows and seemed to be in wooded area. The men seemed to be in old fashioned shirts and suspenders with knee high boots.
My guess is that the fire took place during the 19th century because the area seemed so undeveloped and the style of house and the tiny panes of glass reminded me of windows I'd seen in the historic homes at Hale Farm and Village. I've always thought about contacting the Tallmadge Historical Society to see if there were any records that might tell me about those 2 brothers.

Here's Andy Corn to make you laugh after my creepy story.:)















These illustrations are also done by my husband, MJBivouac

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Son of a Bun

MJ saw that I had salvaged the maple misadventure post from my old blog and brought me home another bun last night. And whipped out a bar of dark chocolate with caramel and sea salt when I burst out laughing.


Remember this nasty little guy? Remember how I said he was the most terrible candy experience ever? Well, I have a new story for you.

My husband thinks the Killer Bun Story is hilarious. So I think he has been looking for Buns locally to surprise me. Why he thinks I'd like to relive such an experience is beyond me, but I think he thought it would be funny to look at them and laugh over old Killer.

One night he came home from work with a Charlie Brown's Farms bag and seemed so pleased with himself.

Yep.

One of our local farmers markets had started carrying BUNS. Well, vanilla and caramel ones anyway. I was almost disappointed that he couldn't find a Killer Bun. I am curious now to see if it was as bad as I remember.

The caramel one was old. It had been smashed, heated and then left to re-solidify. I don't know what possessed me, but I just had to try it. I should have thrown it out. The peanuts were stale and the caramel was brittle in some places and gummy in others. The chocolate had more in common with a candle than a piece of chocolate.

But as always... the Vanilla would do in a pinch.

I really should stop eating candy. Or maybe I should just send all future buns to my brother David and see if he'll eat them now.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Halloween Candy- Afternoon Debacle- The Bilious Bun




When you're a kid darn near anything sweet is a wonderful thing. But the worst candy eating experience of my life had to have been getting one of these little dudes to my left. Mom ran in to Bumpas Drug to get cigarettes or something and brought me one as a treat.

No no! Not the vanilla...that wasn't that bad really. The caramel was better of course, but the vanilla would do in a pinch. Apparently Mom didn't notice, that in her rush to get a handle on her nicotine craving, she picked up a MAPLE Bun!


I was hopeful as I opened it...I'd never had the maple before. I had the fleeting thought that pancake candy was a weird idea, but heck I'd try anything once. OMG! It was horrifically sweet and gritty like sand. And gummy... let's not forget gummy. I kept taking little bites. I guess I thought for some strange reason it had to get better. The motion of the car started to make me nauseous, my head started to hurt and I thought I was going to die. Mom would have never tried to poison me on purpose...would she?

Our green Galaxy 500 had a big deep back-seat. So I wrapped that sucker back up and wedged it in the crack between the backrest and the seat. I then tried to put the experience out of my mind.

That Christmas I got The VERMONT MAPLE COUPLE in my stocking.
I conned my little brother David into eating mine. It was easy. He used to eat Play-Doh.

A few yrs later my Dad was cleaning out the car in preparation for trading it in. He found the petrified remains of my Maple nightmare. I 'd forgotten old killer Bun and I just kinda chuckled to myself. That wild sugar poisoning from my past has put me off Maple for life.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Season of the Ghost- Phantom Manager

I wrote these true ghost stories 2 years ago on my old blog. I decided to repost them because I enjoyed writing them and I don't want them to be lost in old blog limbo. I'll repost one a week until Halloween. Oh, and if another ghost shows up... I'll add a new story.

My oddest ghost story is from when I worked as the store manager of the Simi Valley Salvation Army thrift store.

The store was made up of 2 sections. One was the main floor with a back room and loading dock. The main floor connected with a small room we used for the used books, records and vintage clothing. This room originally had 3 steps down from the main floor.

Just before I took over the floor of this little specialty room was raised to match the level of the main floor. It was interesting that the new floor had an odd bounce to it.

Anyway, one night after closing I was doing a walk through on the main floor. I was making a to do list for the next day and as I approached the middle of the main floor I could hear hangers being slid in the specialty room.
I thought...oops a record guy or a retro chick didn't hear me call closing. I called out,"Excuse me, but we're closed." As I watched,a woman in a floral dress with her dark hair pulled back in a bun started walking towards me through the doorway.

The only thing was...she was walking knee deep in the floor. As she got closer to me she faded away. Obviously she only knew the original floor with the 3 steps down in that back room.

Now, I've seen ghosts since I was little so I wasn't scared, but I was curious to find out who this lady was.

My asst. manager at the time was a long time Simi resident and was a regular shopper at the thrift store even before she got hired to work in the store. So I went to Betty the next day and asked her.

I found out the ghost was probably a previous manager named Juanita who worked there 10-12 yrs before I became manager. I described her right down to the flowered dresses she always wore.

After that first meeting, I never saw her again, but if I heard hangers moving around on the racks when I was alone in the store, I just called out a greeting to Juanita and the noise would stop.

The beautiful Halloween illustrations were created by my husband MJ Bivouac. Thanks, Mike.:)