Holiday Shopping Adventure

I make dolls, jewelry...etc and I work from home....so I don't get out much. I worked for years as a teacher and then in retail .....or I directed the workings of hell on earth if your prefer.

I'm used to being alone now.... so shopping or being in large groups of unruly people tends to get on my nerves. I was feeling a bit, well ....random when MJ and I were at Sam's Club last weekend.

I guess I forgot that I was wearing one of my eye pendants and as I was perusing the choices in the candy section because this older chick kept looming at me. She swooped in for the 3rd time and I noted..."You know if you came a little closer I could lick your eyelid." She took off rather quickly. She barreled past MJ...."What was wrong with her? he grumbled. "Probably having a hot flash or something." I replied.

We were picking out a bag of oranges, when some SC chick announced that everyone present was going to receive a free Christmas gift from "Sam"..... a paring knife.

"What a fucking brilliant thing to hand out to grumpy stressed out holiday shoppers! A sharp knife!" I exclaimed. MJ busted out laughing and just had to get in line for his free holiday pig sticker....which now lives in his lunch box.
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I think maybe I need to get out more.....

I knew it! I did I really did!

 This quiz confirmed it for me! I always knew that I was different...heck look at the stuff I create. The Were You Abducted By Aliens Quiz  is fun. The link is at the bottom of this post. Let us know if you are in this select group.

Actually, I took the test and it said there was a 32% chance that I had been abducted at sometime in my past. It also said that if the aliens were to come back that I'd be one of the first picked up.

I was sure I was an alien when I was little. I have cerebral palsy and have limited use of my right hand and leg. I knew I was different, but my parents never really explained in detail what was wrong with me. So in my little 5 yr old way, I was left wondering about myself.
I've always known that I was adopted and I always thought it was cool. If I got teased about it at school, I always said..."My parents picked me over everyone else. Your parents got stuck with you!"

One of the things my Dad and I did every Saturday was watch The Three Stooges and Warner Bros.

cartoons together. This is how I found the answer to "Why am I different? problem. The cartoon ROCKET BYE BABY came on and there was Mot the little Martian baby who accidentally got switched with a human baby when Earth and Mars rotated very close one night. I mean it was so obvious to me then! I was a displaced Martian baby!

I was so happy with my new found identity and waited and waited and waited to turn green and grow a pair of cute little antenna.

YEAH, I know that it was not to be, but being me on a bad day leaves me feeling pretty alien still, but not in a good way. When I'm creating though, I'm Mott and the world is good.

Were you abducted?

Son of a Bun

MJ saw that I had salvaged the maple misadventure post from my old blog and brought me home another bun last night. And whipped out a bar of dark chocolate with caramel and sea salt when I burst out laughing.

Remember this nasty little guy? Remember how I said he was the most terrible candy experience ever? Well, I have a new story for you.

My husband thinks the Killer Bun Story is hilarious. So I think he has been looking for Buns locally to surprise me. Why he thinks I'd like to relive such an experience is beyond me, but I think he thought it would be funny to look at them and laugh over old Killer.

One night he came home from work with a Charlie Brown's Farms bag and seemed so pleased with himself.

Yep.

One of our local farmers markets had started carrying BUNS. Well, vanilla and caramel ones anyway. I was almost disappointed that he couldn't find a Killer Bun. I am curious now to see if it was as bad as I remember.

The caramel one was old. It had been smashed, heated and then left to re-solidify. I don't know what possessed me, but I just had to try it. I should have thrown it out. The peanuts were stale and the caramel was brittle in some places and gummy in others. The chocolate had more in common with a candle than a piece of chocolate.

But as always... the Vanilla would do in a pinch.

I really should stop eating candy. Or maybe I should just send all future buns to my brother David and see if he'll eat them now.

Halloween Candy- Afternoon Debacle- The Bilious Bun

When you're a kid darn near anything sweet is a wonderful thing. But the worst candy eating experience of my life had to have been getting one of these little dudes to my left. Mom ran in to Bumpas Drug to get cigarettes or something and brought me one as a treat.

No no! Not the vanilla...that wasn't that bad really. The caramel was better of course, but the vanilla would do in a pinch. Apparently Mom didn't notice, that in her rush to get a handle on her nicotine craving, she picked up a MAPLE Bun!


I was hopeful as I opened it...I'd never had the maple before. I had the fleeting thought that pancake candy was a weird idea, but heck I'd try anything once. OMG! It was horrifically sweet and gritty like sand. And gummy... let's not forget gummy. I kept taking little bites. I guess I thought for some strange reason it had to get better. The motion of the car started to make me nauseous, my head started to hurt and I thought I was going to die. Mom would have never tried to poison me on purpose...would she?

Our green Galaxy 500 had a big deep back-seat. So I wrapped that sucker back up and wedged it in the crack between the backrest and the seat. I then tried to put the experience out of my mind.

That Christmas I got The VERMONT MAPLE COUPLE in my stocking.
I conned my little brother David into eating mine. It was easy. He used to eat Play-Doh.

A few yrs later my Dad was cleaning out the car in preparation for trading it in. He found the petrified remains of my Maple nightmare. I 'd forgotten old killer Bun and I just kinda chuckled to myself. That wild sugar poisoning from my past has put me off Maple for life.