Creating Beauty

As a child, I was frightened by a humongous Kissy doll. At 3, it was as big as I was and when you pulled it's hands together it made a smacking or a supposed kissing sound. I was sure it would get up and get me......making smacking sounds as it neared my bed.

Now I make dolls.....some are supposed to be scary, but most just reflect how I look at beauty. To me we have a very narrow view of what beauty is and is not. I have cerebral palsy and don't think I'm whining about it I'm not. I'm lucky my case is very mild compared to some people's. But you can pick me out as different, I walk awkwardly, but my arm and leg work correctly.....for someone with a partially paralyzed arm and leg.

I look like someone with CP is supposed to and in my way I'm attractive. I try to reflect alternative beauty in the dolls I create and so in some ways I'm still dealing with fear, but now it's not my own.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Crochet Memories-Will I?

 When I was kid, I learned to crochet and knit from this great magazine ...McCall's Needlework and Crafts.  With stretchy metallic cord, wondrous beaded Juliet caps and sparkly bauble rings just seemed to jump of my crochet hook.  Yeah, I know, where does a 13 year old wear a Juliet cap?  But it's so pretty. The bauble rings, well you can wear those pretty much anywhere until the bitch squad at Tallmadge Jr. High add the weird rings to their list of why they hated the only disabled kid in school.

Don't think for a second I still feel bad about being the target gimp in school.... I don't. Karma was my friend and now I feel sorry for most of my tormentors.  My appearance and appeal could only improve as I grew up and worked on my intellect and my people skills.  When you peak at 16, you have a long sad journey as you spiral down. Especially if you blow up to 200 lbs and aren't any nicer or more mature than you were than you were 16.

But anyway, my dream dress of 1973 was this Guinevere maxi dress. I was in chorus in 7th through 9th grade and we performed 3 or 4 times a year. Now I had a place to wear my Juliet cap! My Mom helped me make the dress and I was set for the concert! Now to be brutally honest, I'm pretty much tone deaf, so even though I enjoyed chorus it was good there were 90 other singers.  And the idea of 90 little girls in maxi dresses singing Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow is bizarre.

But you know what.... I looked freaking wonderful in that dress and my Juliet cap and bauble ring had beads that matched the turquoise in the granny squares exactly and I sang my tone deaf heart out. I don't know how the people next to me felt, but I had a great time.

I was looking at vintage crochet patterns on Etsy today and guess what I found?  My Guinevere dress.
It's  a 3.00 PDF and I'm tempted.  MJ's boss is having a birthday party in Nov..... No. Not the whole dress.  I  was thinking of getting the pattern and doing it as a tunic in black with jewel colors to wear with a nice skirt or pants or may be a knee length dress. We'll see.  :)

Will you still love me tomorrow?

Yeah, still love this dress.


  1. oh, do it as a tunic.
    it would be gorgeous.

    and wear a juliet cap! ;D


    1. I just bought the pattern! Now to figure out the alterations.