Creating Beauty

As a child, I was frightened by a humongous Kissy doll. At 3, it was as big as I was and when you pulled it's hands together it made a smacking or a supposed kissing sound. I was sure it would get up and get me......making smacking sounds as it neared my bed.

Now I make dolls.....some are supposed to be scary, but most just reflect how I look at beauty. To me we have a very narrow view of what beauty is and is not. I have cerebral palsy and don't think I'm whining about it I'm not. I'm lucky my case is very mild compared to some people's. But you can pick me out as different, I walk awkwardly, but my arm and leg work correctly.....for someone with a partially paralyzed arm and leg.

I look like someone with CP is supposed to and in my way I'm attractive. I try to reflect alternative beauty in the dolls I create and so in some ways I'm still dealing with fear, but now it's not my own.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Season of the Ghost- The Man in the Window

This story is one that in some way makes me the saddest. I felt that Albert was always lonely and I don't like to think of him alone in a house that's different from what he remembers from when he was alive. I always hope that the white fluff and Albert find each other.

When I started dating MJ way back in 1983, he was living in his Grandma's house. She had died recently, so he and his brother were acting as caretakers.

This was an interesting old place. Albert, MJ's Great Grandfather, had built this house and the one next to it. It was 2 stories and huge. It had a big kitchen that opened up to a room with a fire place and from there, that room led to a short breezeway with small paned windows that looked
out onto the front yard. At the end of this breezeway was a shop where MJ's Grandfather had had his saw saw sharpening business.

One late afternoon MJ and I arrived at the house and parked in front of the breezeway windows. As we got out I looked up and saw an elderly man peering out at me. Since I knew MJ and his brother were the only ones living there, I was a bit startled for a second. I paused and MJ asked me what was wrong. I replied that I was fine...we'd only been dating a week or 2 and wasn't ready to have the I see ghosts regularly talk yet.

Well, I kept my eyes open, got closer to MJ and as we were getting more serious I told him about some of my ghostly encounters. I decided to wait on discussing the elderly ghost until I had done a little more investigating. In the old saw shop area, all kinds of family papers and pictures had been stored. There was a beautiful old velvet covered photo album with a lovely photo of MJ's Paternal Great Grandma and a bunch of pictures no one in the family could identify. So, my quiet search for the id of the man in the window continued.

One night we parked in our usual spot and the elderly man appeared in his window. He started like fog and solidified. I casually asked MJ if there was a white haired man that worked with his Grandfather in the saw shop. MJ replied that his Granddad worked alone. "Well then who is the old white haired guy peering out the middle window?" Before I could tell him that I was just seeing a ghost, MJ rushed in through the breezeway door and found no one.

We had a long talk and I described the ghost's white hair, large nose and red and brown plaid flannel shirt. MJ went upstairs and rummaged around forever. Finally he came down with a small stretched canvas. "I painted this when I was a kid, " he said and turned the canvas so I could see it.... a Jr high art style portrait of a white haired man with a large nose wearing a brown and red plaid flannel shirt. "He was my Great Grandfather Albert. He's the guy who built this house. When he was alive, what is now the old saw shop was his apartment."

MJ never saw Grandpa Albert, but felt cold spots in the shop when I would see him looking out of the window. He never responded to me when I tried to speak to him and no one else ever saw him. Even after Mike's Dad sold the house, sometimes I'd see Albert looking out his window when we'd drive by the house. To this day, I wonder if he's still watching and who he's waiting for.

Here's another spooky MJ illustration to dress up my post.:)

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