Creating Beauty

As a child, I was frightened by a humongous Kissy doll. At 3, it was as big as I was and when you pulled it's hands together it made a smacking or a supposed kissing sound. I was sure it would get up and get me......making smacking sounds as it neared my bed.

Now I make dolls.....some are supposed to be scary, but most just reflect how I look at beauty. To me we have a very narrow view of what beauty is and is not. I have cerebral palsy and don't think I'm whining about it I'm not. I'm lucky my case is very mild compared to some people's. But you can pick me out as different, I walk awkwardly, but my arm and leg work correctly.....for someone with a partially paralyzed arm and leg.

I look like someone with CP is supposed to and in my way I'm attractive. I try to reflect alternative beauty in the dolls I create and so in some ways I'm still dealing with fear, but now it's not my own.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Child of Death...RIP Shirley Temple

I heard today that Shirley Temple died. First off ....condolences to all family and people who loved her. May you recover from your sadness and just have happy memories.

Me, well I was a weird kid. Odd things scared me. I think in part this was because I knew from an early age I was adopted and it set up an odd world view for me. On one side... I was chosen and that made me special. I used to tell people that picked on me about being adopted that my parents picked me...and your Mom and Dad got stuck with you.
On the other side of the coin, I knew that sometimes kids didn't stay with their original parents and since I liked mine, I worried that something could happen and I just might end up with a mean step sister like
Jane Withers before she grew up and became Josie the Plumber.

But anyway, where was I?  Yeah, so I used to watch these old Shirley Temple movies and in nearly every single one Shirley ends up either abandoned or orphaned and that little secret fear would come up.  I started referring to her as The Child of Death.

From what I understand most kids are afraid of being abandoned so I guess I'm not that odd, but I still can't watch Shirley Temple movies without wanting to shudder a little bit.

I guess old insecurities die hard even if you think Animal Crackers is a cute song.

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