Creating Beauty

As a child, I was frightened by a humongous Kissy doll. At 3, it was as big as I was and when you pulled it's hands together it made a smacking or a supposed kissing sound. I was sure it would get up and get me......making smacking sounds as it neared my bed.

Now I make dolls.....some are supposed to be scary, but most just reflect how I look at beauty. To me we have a very narrow view of what beauty is and is not. I have cerebral palsy and don't think I'm whining about it I'm not. I'm lucky my case is very mild compared to some people's. But you can pick me out as different, I walk awkwardly, but my arm and leg work correctly.....for someone with a partially paralyzed arm and leg.

I look like someone with CP is supposed to and in my way I'm attractive. I try to reflect alternative beauty in the dolls I create and so in some ways I'm still dealing with fear, but now it's not my own.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Orchid came back

I was brushing Rory this morning and got thinking how he came to live here at Casa Bartlett Walters. He's 6 yrs old now and gorgeous. I wrote this 6 yrs ago and never got around to posting it. I found this story in a file for my previous blog. 

Last summer a young feral cat, who was at least part siamese, came by regularly for food. He or she ran with a wild group of cats in our area. I got to know her better and called her Orchid. She had lovely lavender eyes and a funny tuft of fur on her head that seemed to go the wrong way. She was always sickly and I wanted to tame her down and take her in with the rest of my rescues.

I always looked forward to my morning visits with her. After breakfast on the porch, she'd play with her felt mouse and chatter to me. When I finally felt she was tame enough to be boxed, I made a vet appointment and waited for the next morning to come. Orchid never showed up.

Living here in the Mojave Desert, I know that feral cats are food for many predators, but I had hoped she'd be round 1 more day. I felt so guilty.

About 4 weeks later, I heard a familiar meow out on the porch. Grabbing a food bowl, I rushed out to see Orchid pacing around the porch. I put the food bowl down and reached out to pet her......

And put my hand right through her.

I've seen ghosts since I was a little girl, so seeing Orchid just made me sad. She's visited me periodically since late last summer. The last time I saw her 4 months ago, I asked her to let go and come back to me as a live cat. She cocked her tiny head at me and squeezed her lavender eyes shut. I 've always thought of this as a cat smile.

About 3 months ago a black feral cat gave birth to 5 black kittens and one siamese kitten with lavender eyes and a funny tuft on the top of his head on my back porch. I'm still looking for homes for 4 of the black ones if any one is interested.

But since I promised her, Orchid/ Rorschach or Rory lives with me.


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